She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
In other news, I just burned my penis
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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