I need help removing her.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Randomize
