He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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