but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
