Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
