Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize