youre lurking in front of me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize