I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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