I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
