He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
