It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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