So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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