Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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