What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
