using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
