there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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