there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Randomize
