i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize