My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
