what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
