What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
