hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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