The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
