I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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