Sponge bath it is.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize