Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This girl is more easily done than said...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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