I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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