do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
