You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
