In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
