i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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