I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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