i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
