so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
