In the future we'll all be gay
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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