I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
