remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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