Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
