When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
