did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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