I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
