Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
