the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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