i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
