dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
