she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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