im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
