roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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