I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
