: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
