i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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