Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
this will be a night to untag.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
