another moral hangover. fuck.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize