I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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