When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
