Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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